Kicking And Screaming
by abc233
Summary: “Even someone as coldhearted as Bellatrix struggles to rid the world of people *this* handsome.” MMWP era, RLSB


Warnings : Violence, sexual undertones, slash. Also, Bellatrix in this may be regarded as non-canon, as she's slightly more sane than in the books, but that is because, in my mind, Azkaban was largely responsible for her mental decline. Don't worry, she's still got a bit of the ol' Black insanity!

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The battle had been going for almost an hour before it happened.

The Order members had paired up, as usual, watching one another's backs and stunning as many Death Eaters as possible. Sirius and James fought back to back, as always. Years of working together on pranks and schemes had them entirely attuned to one another's movements and patterns, and they virtually danced through the battle, ducking and twisting as one, firing curses and raising shields left, right and centre.

And if occasionally, a shield slipped, or a curse broke through, which neither Sirius or James could react to, a pinpoint bolt of magic would shoot through the room, blasting the danger away and leaving Sirius grinning appreciatively at his lover, Remus, who would smile back before turning to his own opponent.

His partner tended to take the 'lone wolf' role; his instinctive feral habits made it easier to fight solo than in a pair, though he was loathe to admit it. Regardless of this, he seemed to be able to 'sense' any dangers to his pack, occasionally firing spells towards those attacking Sirius or James from the blind side.

On this day, a very normal day besides the violent battle between the two warring factions, the small house where they warred was tiny, barely enough room for the 40 wizards. Half of the order waited outside, hoping to catch any fleeing death eaters, and numerous charms upon the house were used to prevent anyone apparating out.

The three marauders fighting this day were all in the living room, Alice, Frank and the Prewett brothers packed in with them, as they fought off the 20 or so death eaters in the same room. Moody had drawn some of the death eaters upstairs, where they were greeted by 6 other Order members. Then, out of the corner of his eye, James saw something very unusual and very, very worrying.

"Sirius!" James yelled between curses, breaking their pattern and shuffling leftwards. "We need to get to the kitchen!"

"The kitchen's empty, Prongs! Remember, Moody blocked all the outer doors in there permanently!" Sirius yelled back, never taking his eyes off his targets.

"Remus just got drawn in there."

"So? He's a big boy, he can handle himself!"

James quickly fired round a disorientating spell, followed by a temporary blinding spell, before spinning Sirius to face him. "Sirius, it was the Lestranges, Bellatrix and Rodulphus. Remus is good, but he's not that good, and there's no screaming. Listen." Sirius listened, immediately realising James was right - though Bellatrix's evil cackle could be heard, there was no screaming nor crying from Remus to accompany it.

"He can't be de-" Sirius' voice cracked. James' eyes were large, and Sirius's own soon doubled in size, before he sprinted towards the kitchen door, James on his heels, both dodging curses left and right before they reached the door, James keeping watch as Sirius reached for the door handle.

"They've locked it!" Sirius hissed, shaking the door handle worriedly.

"Godsake, Sirius! Alohamora!" James replied exhasperatedly, firing the spell at the door. Both of them burst in as the door swung open, pointing their wands at Bellatrix and Rodulphus immediately. The two death eaters turned to face them, Sirius' heart clenching as he spotted Remus' bloodied body in a heap behind them.

"Darling cousin!" Bellatrix smiled, her beautiful face ruined by the cold, malicious edge to her steely eyes. "How lovely of you to join us! I know you never liked to share, but I figured you wouldn't mind if I had a little fun with your _pet_." Bellatrix smirked, pointing her wand towards the lying teen. "Crucio!"

Sirius' heart was alight with joy and fear as Remus' body gave a twitch from the pain. "He's not dead." Sirius stated to James, every bone in his body begging him to rugby tackle Bellatrix and beat her to within an inch of her life for hurting Remus.

"It would make this whole thing simpler if he was..." Rodulphus muttered, quietening as Bellatrix focussed her hard gaze upon him. "Well, it would be. We could just kill all three of them and be done with it in seconds."

"Oh, you always were a _bore._ I want them to die a cowards death, as that's what they're all good at, isn't it, dear cousin?" Bellatrix mocked, waving her wand as if the conversation was completely causal. "Its so easy to walk away from a dynasty, to run away from the right side..."

"Don't talk about things you know nothing about, Lestrange." Sirius spat out, eyes not leaving Remus' once more static form.

"I'll talk how I like, you disgrace to the Black name!" She screeched, flipping her wand to point it at her cousin. "Cruci-"

"Expelliarmus." A quiet voice called, and Bellatrix' wand flew across the room before she could finish the curse. Bellatrix raised a groomed eyebrow, looking behind her at the lone figure, now lying on his back, all his energy drained.

"And it didn't even need a wand. My my, dear cousin, you have kept your bitch well trained." Bellatrix cooed, before delivering a swift kick to Remus' side. "However, it still needs teaching not to mess with people more powerful than it. Rodulphus, if you would."

Remus convulsed as Rodulphus cast Sectumsempra, blood seeping from his chest and back, spreading across the linoleum. Sirius flinched, James' hand on his shoulder preventing him from rushing forward. "If you don't stop now I'm going to rip your throat out, you pignosed pureblood tramp." Sirius hissed, looking Bellatrix in the eye with a mixture of hatred and pleading. "Bellatrix, for Gods sake, make it stop."

"Aww, is ikkle Siri going to cry?" Bella mocked, waving a hand at her husband to make him stop. "Look at the poor little baby..." Rodulphus snorted, lifting the curse off the werewolf, casting a blasé 'projecto' charm as he saw Sirius raise his wand.

"Dumbledore has, yet again, sent little boys to fight a man's war. What are they, 17?" Rodolphus muttered, stroking his wand contemplatively.

"Not too young to die. Not too young to scream, though the werewolf is being damn persistent." Bellatrix stated, giving Remus a hard kick with her heel. Grabbing his chin, Bellatrix pulled him up to her knee height, his jaw clenched in defiance. "Scream for me, you little brat!" Remus smirked, mouthing more than vocalising the 'never' he wanted to yell. Tightening her grip on his chin, Bellatrix pulled him higher, crushing his jaw in her iron like grip. "Oh, believe me, wolf, we have ways of making you scream. I do believe a certain pack leader has been desperate to get his claws into his favourite _cub_ for years..." She grinned, eyes widening in pleasure as Remus flinched.

"Do you reckon Greyback would take him in?" Rodulphus asked casually, keeping his eyes on the other two teenagers. Bellatrix turned her head sharply, using her grip to turn Remus' head too.

"Did you not listen to the dark lord at the last meeting?" She screeched, looking back at Remus and turning him to face her. "Sometimes, _cub_, I wonder about the idiocy of my husband." After forcing Remus to nod, she turned him back to face Rodulphus. "Greyback's wanted the Hogwarts educated monster in his pack for _years_. And I can see why, he looks rather tasty..." Bellatrix smirked, snapping her jaws in the direction of Remus face before stroking it almost lovingly. "A tasty little wolf, aren't you?"

"Lestrange you let go of him or I swear to God I'll -"

"You'll what, dear cousin?" Bellatrix asked, smiling maliciously across. "Not willing to share? Its time I taught you some manners, dear cousin." She pulled Remus higher, licking a stripe down his bloody face. "I should take him right now, then kill him right before your eyes, teach y-"

Without a word, the progecto charm shattered, Rodulphus and Bellatrix flying across the room, shattering plates as they hit a cabinet. James glanced across at his best friend with a raised brow. "Been a while since you lost control of your magic, Pads." Sirius shrugged slightly, walking towards Bellatrix with his wand drawn, shoulders shaking slightly.

"There's the old Sirius Black!" Bellatrix laughed, smiling genuinely from her position on the floor as she threw her head back, before looking at her cousin. "There's a bit of the old Black madness, the good old streak of insanity. Oh, Sirius, if you would come back to us, we could make you _brilliant_."

"I burnt that bridge long ago, Bellatrix." Sirius stated cooly, wand pointed straight at her throat. Suddenly the two death eaters tensed, each glancing slightly at their arms. Rodulphus acted quickly, grabbing a pen from his pocket and handing half of it to Bellatrix.

"Have to dash, I'm afraid." Bellatrix smirked, waving to her cousin and winking at Remus. "Until next time, my darlings." And with that, the two of them disappeared, the three marauders immediately rushing towards their disappearing forms.

"Portkeys." Remus muttered, falling into one of the kitchen chairs as the adrenaline from the fight left.

"Shit." James cursed, punching the wall in frustration. Sirius stood aside him, silent as he stared at a patch of blood on the floor. "Rem, mate, are you okay?" James asked, walking over to the chair and clapping a hand to his friend's shoulder.

"Fine." Remus replied curtly, the slight shake of his shoulders betraying him. Gripping slightly tighter, James knelt down to look his friend in the eyes.

"I'll send Lily in as soon as possible, get her to check you over." James stated, smiling weakly at his friend. "I'm, er, glad you're not dead."

"I'm glad you're not dead too, Prongs." Remus smiled, gripping his friend on the shoulder in return. "Now go and show your wife that you are, in fact, alive, and play the hero for a while. We'll see you later?" James nodded, releasing his friend's shoulder as he headed towards the door, throwing a worried glance at Sirius on the way out.

"You're an idiot for following me, you know." Remus' voice shook, weak from the blood loss. "If they wanted to, Bellatrix and Rodulphus could have had us all dead in seconds."

"I thought you were already dead." Sirius stated, eyes never leaving the large pool of blood on the tiled floor. "I thought that was it, they'd done it. I thought -" His voice broke slightly, and he coughed. "I thought I'd never see you again." Sirius turned around, finally looking his partner in the eye. "I thought I had nothing to lose."

Remus stood up slowly, walking lopsidedly towards Sirius, virtually falling into his arms. "Sirius. This is a war. I might die, you know that." Remus whispered, running his hands along his partner's back. "It doesn't mean you have to die too."

The pair stood in silence for a minute, just holding one another, before Remus spoke again. "They could have killed us. They had every chance. Why didn't they?"

"I get the impression they just wanted to talk." Sirius scoffed, running his finger along the edge of one of the long cuts on Remus' torso. "They want to recruit us, I'm guessing they think that between my family and your furry little problem, we're the ones most likely to turn, which is utter bullshit." Sirius paused, looking up at his boyfriend. "You were... so silent..."

"Old spell I use for my transformations. Silences screams, I didn't want her to have the pleasure of hearing my cries." Remus replied nonchalantly, tugging Sirius down so that they both sat on the floor, Sirius' head on Remus' shoulder. "I know this is so, so hard, Padfoot, but we've got to be adults, we've got to face this head on."

"I'm still learning how to grow up."

"We can learn together." Remus replied with a smile, stroking Sirius' face loosely. "I'll drag you kicking and screaming into adulthood if I have to." Remus joked, running a slightly bloody hand through his friend's hair, before leaning down to capture his lips softly.

"I want to be like that muggle, what was his name? The one that never grew up?" Sirius laughed lightly between kisses.

"Peter Pan." Remus filled in, grabbing Sirius' hand. "But little boys don't get to do this..." Remus smirked, dipping to kiss Sirius intensely once more.

"Oh for heavens... Can you two not keep your hands off one another for ten minutes?" A voice from the door stated, and the pair looked up to see Lily stood there, hands on hips with her medical kit floating beside her. "Remus Lupin, you look like shit."

"Oh Lily, I'd forgotten just how charming you can be." Remus smirked, pushing Sirius off him so he could wobble to a standing position, shuffling over to a chair with Sirius' help.

"And Sirius Black, I do not want you smooching my patients." Lily stated, beginning to cast calming spells on Remus to reduce the shaking. "I know you probably feel as bad as you look right now, Remus, but in all honesty you three came away pretty well from a fight with the Lestranges. No missing limbs, sanity still mostly intact - and that which is 'missing' was most likely not there in the first place - and only one out of the three of you got any injuries at all."

"Its our raving good looks. Even someone as coldhearted as Bellatrix struggles to rid the world of people _this_ handsome." Sirius smiled, pulling up a chair aside Remus and grabbing his hand gently. "Does it hurt, Moony?"

"Black, are you an idiot?" Lily scolded, rolling her eyes. "Of _course _it hurts, James said they were using Crucio and Sectumsempra. Were it not for his you-know-what preventing too much damage, he'd be dead."

"Is his you-know-what his abnormally large penis?" Sirius retorted, "Because if that took most of the damage, I think I'll have to find a new boyfriend."

"You're both being so lovely to me today." Remus muttered, slapping Sirius in the stomach. "Pads, I'm fine. All of me is fine, abnormally large penis and all."

"Really?" Sirius asked, as Lily rolled her eyes, mouthing 'no' as she bandaged up Remus' calf.

"Hurts less than when my furry little problem is acting up a lot." Remus grinned, squeezing Sirius' hand tightly. "Give me thirty minutes and I'll be fit enough to run a marathon."

"Don't you dare, Remus Lupin, I'm not applying these bandages for kicks and giggles!" Lily flicked his knee, before rising to a standing position and placing both her hands on his shoulders, smiling at him whilst grabbing a damp cloth. "Love, you're covered in blood and... spit?!" Lily screeched, looking over at Sirius accusingly.

"Hey, don't look at me!" Sirius exclaimed, pointing at Remus' face. "My dirty cousin is the one with the blood obsession, not me! Remus Lupin, until you've scrubbed that layer of skin off, I'm not kissing you. I don't want Lestrange germs!"

"Oh really?" Remus smirked, pushing Lily out of the way to grab Sirius' shirt, pulling him in close until their lips were almost touching. "Are you sure about that?"

"Well, maybe I could make one exception..."

"Sirius! _NO SMOOCHING MY PATIENTS!_" Lily screeched, grabbing the pureblood and pulling him back as hard as possible.

"Ahem." The three froze, heads slowly rotating towards the door.

Dumbledore stood in the doorway, looking between the three of them with a smile. "Whilst I am glad to see that the horrors of this war have yet to get the best of you three, may I suggest you go and get cleaned up, as we have a meeting in 45 minutes. You know where to meet." He stated, smiling at the three of them. "Mrs Potter, if Remus has been adequately seen to, may I ask you have a look at Fabian Prewett? He's looking a bit peaky." Lily smiled shyly, shuffling out of the room around Dumbledore with a nod.

Dumbledore looked between the final two occupants with a knowing smile as he repaired the kitchen back to its original state, washing the pans and cleaning the blood off the floor, until everything was as it had been. "Remus, Sirius. Facing the Lestranges in battle can be a mentally damaging task for even the most experienced of aurors. Should you at any point need to talk, you both know where my office is."

"Er, sorry about... well, that..." Sirius started, before Dumbledore waved him off.

"Just because there is a war going on doesn't make fun illegal." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he moved towards the door. "So long as you're not pranking the Death Eaters during battle, I see no reason why you shouldn't, occasionally, act like the nineteen year old boys you are." Dumbledore nodded, turning to face them once more. "And, if you should find yourself otherwise occupied in 45 minutes, I'm sure James' description of events at the meeting should be enough." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled once more, before he turned and left, leaving the two of them alone.

Throwing Remus' arm over his shoulder, Sirius guided the two outside, to a safer apparating spot, as Remus' brow furrowed. "What exactly just happened?"

"I think Dumbledore just gave me the go-ahead to screw your brains out instead of going to a OoP meeting. I knew there was a reason I loved that guy!" Sirius grinned, apparating them to their flat with a pinch of Remus' arse.

* * *

Et finis. Please leave a review; I know it is desperate to ask, but we authors spend quality time writing these stories, and its nice to know someone appreciates your work!!

This is the first of a barrage of updates during the next 24 hours; I don't have regular internet at the moment, so the rare occasions when I do will involve mass updates! Get your butts over to my profile page and check out;

'**Everyone Remus Lupin Ever Slept With, 1960-1981**'

'**Why Bets From J Potter Should Be Politely Refused**'

'**Sirius Black + Marauders Map = Trouble'**

'**Right Under Your Nose**' (House MD fic)


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